Give us a job, mate

After each summer we always shed staff- it's our annual moult. With the loss, even though it is temporary,of our summer staff and Florian moving on to pastures new we find our selves in the position of being able to hire some full time newbies.
The summer newbies will return, for holidays, and bring their own shall we call it "special"brand of professionalism, but in the mean time we have two new starters, who have blown fresh air through the cafe.
With so many people looking for work at the moment I thought we would be inundated, and as time is generally short we put an advert in the paper that would put off the time wasters. We were brutally honest. We dared to put "hard work, long hours" we didn't make it pretty.There is no point putting all the good stuff on adverts- if they still want to work after reading the advert then good for them. If they think we are lying, then they will find out we don't do that.
It is amazing though how bad some people are at writing even a covering letter. They are miss spelled, have smiley faces or just downright awful.
The ones that start with "Hiya", "Alrite" or "Hey" followed by a smiley face in any form are generally disregarded. I know email etiquette is informal, but you are applying for a job, speaking to your new boss.
The email address is also a good thing to look at. I would, personally, change my address to my name, and a number or something that was adult and "normal". I would not keep the address I created at 14 that I thought was cool, sweet or sexy.
We have had various interesting email addresses. Anything that starts DJ tends to scare me, more so when its followed with words like skunk, gangster or killer. I am aware the name does not reflect the personality generally, but these names have been picked by themselves to show what they would like to be.
Gothy-lucy-babe was another we had. She turned out to be blond and in her 40s. A past revealed unwittingly? Sugarboymassiv is one of my favorites. It conjures up so many images. I-love-sex-and-chocolate was another that I don't think I would have kept. I have smiled at some; mums-email was quite sweet, a lady being dragged into 2009 possibly? I have received emails blatantly sent from the works address. This is surely either very brave or just stupid if the company isn't going belly up.
As an employer cv's are the initial introduction and the covering letter can really help that cv to stand out. Fancy fonts, colours and awful clip art pictures will not generally enhance anything. Clear, concise and enthusiastic is what I am looking for, and unless you are going for a job in computer design type stuff, I would imagine most employers are the same.
If you are in the market for a job then check you cv, and make sure your covering letter is enthusiastic and most of all spelt correctly!

Things people say

Those of you that pop in now and again will have noticed the vast amount of newbies we have on the staff. The "summer" hols mean that we are rushed off our feet and our new Uni students are a welcome breath of fresh air, never mind really useful. In this lovely weather we have been discussing staff past and present and the funny moments we have had over the years. Often Jodie or I will cry "That has to be quote of the day" and the story is resigned to the "for a rainy day" file. As we have a few rainy days I thought I would share a couple of quotes with you.

Tables on the balcony are numbered 1-6 from the steps. On asking a waitress to take a sandwich to Balcony two, I got the reply " But we only have one balcony"

On learning that we employed two Emily's one summer, Emily B asked "What's the other Emily called?"

On restocking the chocolate bars, I was confronted with a waitress that informed me that all the Bounty bars were broken.

A member of staff was showing a newbie how to clean the loos. She went through the chemicals and then stressed that the sanitary bins needed to be emptied. She asked him to then clean the Gents and he asked if he should clean the sanitary bins in there too.


On working the BMC rally- formerly British Leyland cars built in the 50's, 60's and 70's Jodie looked at the old R reg burger van and said that surely cars THAT old shouldn't be allowed on the road.

"Do you buy bread from the butchers as well?"

Many members of staff answer the phone, in my office, in my cafe, then call me and say "It's for you, I don't know who it is" (Always helpful!)

"Will you do the barbecue indoors if it's raining?" I'm thinking the insurance on lit coals in a wooden building would be quite high!

"The ocean is looking rough today- is it a sea or an ocean?" What's the cafe called- does that give you a clue?

On a really quiet morning where we had not seen any people at all, we convinced -almost- a member of staff that there had been some dramatic event and we were the only people left on the planet. Discussion ensued and on being asked what he'd do if he was the only person left he said excitedly "I'd go and rob a bank"

It's comforting to think that in our dotage these are the people that will be looking after us and running the country.